Another holiday

I haven’t renewed my space for five month. I have been at home for five days. But I know these five days I just did some idle things. Next term I will go to Singapore for exchange. When I knew I have won the chance I was so exited ,for Singapore is my dream.  I began to write my space in English for him ,for Singapore. But now I do still for Singapore ,but not for him forever .The day before I return home I come across him on line by accident,at that time ,I had lost my passion for him. But in fact ,I know I didn’t forget him downright,for I still hate him now. If you hate somebody,that means you didn’t forget him. Fortunately my reason prevailed.

Now when I recollect this term ,I feel that it has been wasted. I was so busy,but at sea is my real feeling. That is enough. Next term I will give up all of these visional things. Go ahead ,girl!

Actuation is devil.What a classical sentence!Although i do not know where this sentence came from ,it is a truth for sure.In fact,i am a impulsive girl.At the same time,i am the most faithful fan of my mom.Since i was a little girl,in my mind my mom is the greatest woman in the world.Most of my friends told me that i had serious Oedipus complex,to be true ,i admit.I think every word of my mom is right.For my mom gives all of her love for me and i love her.But i know,my mom'charecter is not gentle at all,and i inherit this from her,but what happened yesterday told me that actuation is devil.Every one should pay cost for what he has done,and nobody can escape.Guru is a gentle girl,i admire her,for wherever she go ,the people there can accept her and treat her warmly.On the contrary,when i meet others for the first time ,they will regard me as a proud girl.Although i am not in fact,but i have given others this impression.Maybe when they mix in with me for a period of time,they will find what kind people i am,and make friend with me ,but the whole process needs a long time.May i ask how much time in one's life?If i waste a lot of time on this,i think i will miss a lot of friends and chances.So from now on,i will change my character!Actuation is devil and i want be a gentlewoman.

Yesterday i watched TV all day.I know it is a waste of time to do like this,especially when i know most of my classmates have returned school.I went to practise yoga and did not meet QQ,maybe it is a good thing ,for i did not know how to face her,i am afraid i will forgive her again.Others told me that she was a untruthful girl ,but i thought i could change her .But the result proved me wrong.I know she has tried her best to make friend with me,but her essence is that she did not value friendship,so my endeavor is fruitless.One year ago her selfish behavior hurt H,in the extent she changed two person's life,but at last i still choose to forgive her.Now i realize i am wrong,maybe i should leave her earlier.Now i feel vain and a little afraid.I think my mood is so incompatible,on one side i want to return school to enjoy my normal life,on the other side,i still like the life at home,and love my parents.Now i listen to David Tao'songs,i still like his songs,and they are still moving but my mind has changed.He made me listen to his songs and i like his songs for him,but now i just like his songs and put down He  inside out and i should congratulate myself.At the same time i thank Flower again ,no for my life ,because i will not forget the rough days that she spent with me together forever.Flower,i have come out of the rougt world,i know you will feel happy for me .

How time flies!I did not write my space for a long time.For during this this time,a lot of things come to me together.But frankly speaking,the main reason is that i am so lazy.My holiday has come to its end.Two months is a long time for me.I went through  a long heart journey during this long period.In the extent ,I waste my holiday.All of my plans have become a dream and just a dream.So i deside to reduce my next holiday to a short one.Yesterday i came back from flower'home,and then take part in Du'party.I found we all have grown up.These two days gave me a happy time,Flower and her parents treat me warmly.At the same time i realize my hometown is so poor.There is no place for playing in Yingkou,it is just a country,and a small country.My father is recovering little by little,but yesterday when i found one third of his hair has disappeared i felt afraid.Now i feel there is nothing that can make me crazy or exciting.Maybe i have grown up.He returned to school,it seems my life becomes more boring .But i know when i return my school i will forget him little by little.When i talked with Flower ,we all felt the life is so boring,and men is not important for us and we choose friendship together.Maybe next term is still a boring one and we still have no object ,but life still continues.And we have nothing to do except endure.

Yesterday Jing called me and told me she would went to Beijing alone and her next target is Lanzhou .In reality ,she hopes i can travel with her together ,but i know my mum can not agree on the idea,for in her mind i was a little child who need adequate care forever.She is a brave girl.We go through so much precious times.We witness each other's change.I know these years she have changed so much ,but i know she is growing up and becoming mature.Maybe in many people's eyes she is not a good girl but in my mind she is the perfect forever ,and whatever kind of people she becomes ,she is my best sister forever.Now Jing becomes so smooth.I can still remenber when we were in middle school i often told her "you should be more canny,or you will be decieved ".Now i know i have no right to say these for she is more clever than me ,and she can take care of me .I have to admit love can change so many things ,maybe the change happening to her is related to that bad boy. Time can cure the wound apparently,but in my opion the wound in one's deep heart can not be cured forever.Jing,take care of yourself,wherever you are,i will  bless for you.

Last night my parents came back home  late and then took me to restaurant as usual. Since i came back i hardly took meals at home for my parents were so busy.I know all of this is for me and they hope they can set a happy future for me.When i was a little girl,my family was so poor,but my mom'love is so great and all she did is for me .Now they are no longer young but they are still endeavoring.Everyday when i see they are so tired that they go to bed as soon as entering home,i was so much sad .So when i have the ability to earn enough money i must let them live the best life.Last afternoon i went to see my teacher and we talked a lot.He is one of my best teachers.Sometimes i feel i was lucky,there are so many good people around me,my parents ,my teathers and my good friends.Sometimes when i review the sad time and said so many things are unfaire for me ,i feel regreted.Owning all of these are enough.Thank you ,my parents,i love you.

 

From today on,i know i wil be myself.Last night,i came across him on line.Frankly speaking,at first ,my hand began to shiver when i saw he came on line.At the same time,i was chatting on line with Bo.I told him everything and he did not comfort me .He knew me very well,so he understood whatever words are useless.Then i said goodbye to He.I understood everything had been over,and there was no reason that i kept loving him.Especially when i chat with him,i understood this point better.I am not a clever girl,if i want to succeed there is no way but to try my best and take pains to do everything best.One fourth of my holidays have passed,so i have no time to waste.From tomorrow i will be myself.I miss flower so much,since i came back home i felt that the friendship between flower and i is stable than any other.I must value this friend ,no ,my sister.